This is one of the saddest things I've read. I try to imagine what would
make me kill myself over some guy..well,what do I know about love.
BOLLYWOOD Actress Jiah Khan committed suicide recently and its been
proven she killed herself because of emotional trauma she faced in her
relationship with her boyfriend who has just been arrested. He was also
the last person she called before committing suicide...‘I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday.
These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a
time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my
dreams. I feel dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to
someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies.
It didn’t matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for
you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the
pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me,
destroyed my soul. I can’t eat or sleep or think or function. I am
running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore.
When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I
fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t
know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the
abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn’t deserve this. I
didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly
scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was
about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I
will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career and
dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you.
About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you.
You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else.
I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you
to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as
much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my
blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you
constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to
abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls
they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no
where to go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your
face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects
their family. You never even met my sister.
I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to
breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was
working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my
happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was
ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment.
You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no
confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you
took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I
waited for you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something.
The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still
spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed
my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my
hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on
Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get
engaged. All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish
motives.
All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I
spent money on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would
cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I
wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I
dreamt of our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams
and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up
again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with
you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than
this’.
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